A few seconds later...

Sometimes when your having your fucked up moment, and you can't think straight or do things like you usually do and people judge you like your in the wrong. You just feel like you're better off dead. Like they give a shit.

What's the point for trying to do all things right when you screw them up and you feel useless and faithless and you ended up getting wasted. Trying to get the pain away just So it will come right back and bite you. It feels like your trapped and your strings are pulled so tight, you can't move, You scream and you cry deep down inside you want to die, and yet no one seems to understand.

What's the point of smiling just to put a good show for the world to see like your alright. Just so they wont ask you stupid questions and make you want to cry because they remind you even before you start to breath.

I just don't understand why life is full of miseries. I know there are a billion more out there the same as me or much worse but even me, a misery can't help a fellow misery, cause i'm not strong enough to get on my own two feet.

I wish I have Miracle powers to heal the world and stop their pain and sufferings. They say that if you pray to God, and if it is his will he'll answer it. Please pray for me, so I may be a healer. I'll heal the whole world before I heal myself because Jesus Saved the whole world from sin.

In Loving Memory Of Peter Tan ♥

Dearest Kong Kong,

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you. When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok. I Miss You. ♥ My grandfather was a good man. He's more than a father to me, he's the wise vintage boy that I look up to all my life, he's sickness, cancer was the killer joy. But as much as I know his gone, I still know he's here because I still think he's sleeping in his bed, and living like he was.. and I still tell him before I leave the house so he won't be worried... I never really shared my problems with him because I didn't want to worry him. But he was there when I needed him, always...

I remember those times when I was in Primary school, I use to ask him to write a letter to my teacher saying that I didn't attend school cause of so and so... Just a little white lie, we share Teehee :) I miss him dearly. I still wonder if he's really gone... The Last night I spent with him, he was delirious and at two point of times, he actually recognized me and he held my hand and said "I love you"... It hurts to see him suffer before he died, but I know till a point it was so painful, God took him away, like he took his miseries away. I am not angry at God for taking my dearly beloved Kong Kong, but at least he put out his misery... But I still can't believe his gone... It just feels so wrong... But I know, His gone to somewhere in which words just can't describe, Heaven ♥

PS. I Love You Kong Kong, Forever and Always...

Love,

Avriel, Mei.

Cheer Up!

Sometimes I was I had powers, sometimes I wish I could help people. But I'm no heroine, I'm not superman. But it's not superman's power that I want, I want the power to lift everyone's pain, everyone's misery. But no, I'm no super girl. To all my besties out there, Felisa, Liselotte, Amanda, Abigail, Robin and more... Cheer up and don't give up :) I loveeeeee you'll! Except Robin.. haha!

P.S. I NEED TO SUNTAN AND SWIM IN THE SEA. WHO WANTS TO BRING ME :)

A little song to cheer you up :) Here's Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Just cut me some slack

SERIOUSLY.

Grandfathers are just antique little boys

The Doctor said my grandfather has six more months to live. I have about six more months before I graduate, I don't know how am I suppose to cope. I can try to be strong and do everything for my dearest grandfather but sometimes I know, I will break down, because I am human. I hope for the best for my grandfather, I will try to be with him every minute of my time, given the time...

I would love to know that we can live forever but however, I know that is only in eternal life in heaven, life is so cruel yet it can be so beautiful. Why is everything so contradicting? Why must we ask why all the damn time? Sigh. Reasons why I can get lost in my book for hours, because it is a good book that moves me and that I can be lost in a world from reality... I can forget a while, like drugs, It only last you awhile and then you're hooked.. At least I'm not hurting my body...

xoxo;

Avriel

Home-Bitter-Sweet-Home

They are gonna sell the house, because they're not receiving any more money. Home. They are selling my home away. The home where I was even before I was born. The home where I can call home, the home where now is not like a home. Not a home like it was. Home and now is a very ugly reality. Why can't we just go backwards? Why can't we just be like Benjamin Button in the curious case of Benjamin Button?? Why can't we live from forward to backwards.

My Grandfather is weak, I don't know how I should spent time with him, every time I look at him, I tear, that's why I don't really feel like going home, I don't want to see him like that, besides the fact that my step-father is the main reason why I don't wanna go home, the reason why Home is not how Home used to be like...

T.I.M.E.P.L.E.A.S.E.S.T.O.P or go sdrawkcab.